In the race of life your awareness of your Bailiwick is as important as making sure you tie your shoelaces before a run. But what if you forgot the double knot and you trip on your way to the finish line? How do you bounce back from a moment when you thought you would thrive but instead faltered?
Back in 2012, three years after graduating college, I decided it was time to apply for graduate schools. I did my research, spoke with friends who had gone for their Master’s in the same field, and sent out applications to three schools. I had my heart set on Graduate School #1. I could tell you forwards and backwards what my graduate career was going to be like, including the job I would land in the department I aspired to work in upon graduation. After receiving my acceptance letter, I applied to seven graduate assistantships. I passed the phone interview round for many and made it into the top two in three of those departments. I spent a day on campus interviewing with each department, feeling confident that I would at least receive one offer and perhaps even have a choice where I would end up. I felt that my bailiwick was evident in my interviews. I was confident, well-spoken, enthusiastic, and eager to learn. I had background knowledge on each of the positions. My sneakers were on and I was ready to run.
Within a week, what I thought would have been job offers turned into rejections, each of them stinging a little more than the last. I was crushed. How could I have been so wrong? I blamed myself by picking out my flaws. I let my self-esteem dip. I tripped over my shoelaces and fell hard. I was unsure of how to move on when I received another graduate school acceptance letter. I took this as a sign. Get up from the ground with your skinned knees and bruised ego and find yourself a new trail. That’s what I did. That’s how I ended up at Graduate School #2.
Here’s what I learned through the process of rejection. My sneakers were tied tight that day I interviewed for the positions at Graduate School #1. What I first blamed on untied laces ended up being a crack in the sidewalk. I tripped and fell because my bailiwick wasn’t the best fit for the positions. This decision was outside of my control, made by someone else’s sphere of influence. The important thing was that I picked myself up and moved on. Someone else embraced me and my bailiwick and I’m a better person because of it.
So how does this apply to you? When you go for a run, make sure your shoelaces are tied tight. Know what you’re good at, what you’re not so good at, and what you’re just so-so at. You can avoid the cracks in the sidewalk as best you can but you’ll be blindsided by some. You may fall down. Sometimes it will be because of the cracks (someone else’s sphere of influence) and other times your shoelaces (your own doing). Be confident and humble in your abilities. Don’t stop running. You’ll find the best trail and set a new personal best time.
Michela DeLuca
Graduate Intern